Monday, October 25, 2010

on books, pathos, and insanity (or why i changed my site title)


it all started with a conversation i had with my sister maia several days ago.  we were talking about terry pratchett and how reading his books always makes us happy.  but maia went on to defend pathos in books and said that a good cry is always therapeutic, so she likes to read them once in a while.  i disagreed, but for very personal reasons.  growing up, i was such a drama queen that by the time i was 20 i already cried enough for 5 lifetimes!  it seemed like i was crying every 4 minutes, to tell you the truth. 

fast forward to today, when i only ever read books that are well-written, gripping,  intelligently funny, and challenges the imagination.  to make it short, nicholas sparks and i are not friends. =)  i find no need for a good cry.  my world is already insane enough without my adding tears to it.  besides, my boys (all 3 of them) panic when they see me crying! hahahahahah!

ever since i became a mother, i felt the responsibility to stay (relatively) sane. if not for my sake, then for the sake of my sons.  i have no time for drama, no time for pathos.  there's already too much of it in the news, why will i look for it in fiction!?  besides, i know that there are a lot more important things than my own feelings --  (i actually had to learn that, believe it or not)  there's duty, and responsibility, and a lot of nurturing on top of all the little mundane tasks of the day. 

so i'm done with the drama (thankfully), the soul-searching, the angst.  i'd really rather stay cheerfully insane (a few sandwiches short of a picnic), just the way i am now.   i'm a drama queen turned dairy queen.  =)



69 comments:

Therese Habana said...

hehehe katawa gyud ko sa dairy queen!

louella alix said...

AKA The Milk Machine for Vito and now Raoul!

louella alix said...

Truth be told, I even find Nicolas Sparks a little too sappy now. The best escapist books for me are the English whodunnits, give me those rambling descriptions of the English moors and countryside, endless paragraphs detailing the manners and mores of the characters involved, I'll happily read them. No more tears please!

* mar said...

A case of someone NOT crying over spilled milk.
There's more where it comes from, hehehe.
+
I agree with you. That's why I hate watching horror movies. I want to be entertained, not ingrained into someone's idiotic lack of common sense.

Chiara Julie Ann Sacdalan said...

me too, me too!

Chiara Julie Ann Sacdalan said...

ha ha ha, i never knew you were a drama queen pat! well, i used to be one too, secretly of course. ha ha ha. now i'm just the queen. of myself, in my family. ha ha ha.

and as usual, i loooove your site theme. =D

Me Ann said...

hahaha!!! hey mrs. dairy queen...i love the new look of your page! and yes, i guess i agree with you when it comes to being cheerfully sane..but i also loved the book that maia read, which i also read a few months back...
when my hormones go berserk, i think that is when i read books like those...

but will never read nicholas sparks too!

miss you Pat! please write more often...i miss it!

Me Ann said...

so true!

Patricia Alix Villa said...

correct! =) i'm too busy being someone's food source in other words! hahahaha!

Patricia Alix Villa said...

i've always found nicholas sparks sappy. (sorry to all of his fans out there.)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

hahahahahahaha!!!! indeed! =)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

thanks chiara! =) i'm still experimenting with the new hi-res themes so i might change this again one of these days.

kapoy to be drama queen oy! never again! hahahahaha! maluoy ko kang manuel. =D

Patricia Alix Villa said...

hi meann! i finally have time to write! and i'm so happy! hehehehe.

i still couldn't stomach the book thief the 2nd time i read it. halfway through, i stopped and read the ending. hehehehehehe. =) too much pathos!

xtin a said...

hahahaha!

CatH \(^_^)/ said...

ROTFL....

ano bang connotation nyan? either that you like ice cream (who remembers Dairy King sa Mango Ave?)...milk machine as Mommy Loy said (reminds me of a joke as to why mother's milk was best..kc daw more attractive containers)....or something else?

CatH \(^_^)/ said...

I totally agree with you. While other women may want the therapeutic effect, it doesn't work for me...
If I cry over sad, drama movies, books, stories, news etc. its just bad afterwards - I end up with a snotty, red nose, headache dahil sa sipon, scratchy throat and not feeling happy at all.

Better to laugh at the insanity of it all.

Me Ann said...

yeah..you said that nga daw...hehe!

would you believe, it was required of martin to read this book, kaya pati ako, napabasa....and we had to discuss because he had to submit a book review. that's why, i read that book...it was a welcome change to my John Grisham and Mitch Albom books..

Patricia Alix Villa said...

amen to that! =)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

hahahahah! any and all connotations would be considered true and correct in this case! hahahahah!

Patricia Alix Villa said...

but that's exactly what i am now! hahahahaha! =)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

oh, what a good teacher they have, to require them to read that book. it's very well written, i have to agree. but halfway pa lang i found myself bracing for the sadness to come -- you know, who was going to die, etc. etc. so i flipped to the end of the book to get the misery over with. hahahaha! =)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

are you a fan of nicholas sparks tin? =)

Lou Nagpanaoan said...

I was just through with my summer reading - A book for the whole season, it took me that long - The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte and honestly, now I feel like reading a Nicholas Sparks. It is like having a meal, once in a while you want something light to read. But am like you, I'd get to the end of the book if the thrill gets to be too much. I don't like to suffer for nothing.

I do love your new title and site, Dairy Queen.

xtin a said...

no, madam. haven't tried reading any of his books... this just reinforces me to not make the attempt. ever.

Patricia Alix Villa said...

hahahahaha! don't gyud! don't ever touch 'em! makasuka nya ka. ahahahhahahaha! =P

Patricia Alix Villa said...

oh, that sounds interesting tita lou!

Patricia Alix Villa said...

oh, definitely! =) but for light reading i prefer british chick fiction. they're so much fun! =)

chichi abadingo said...

love your new theme. and love to know this part of you. i never imagined you to be pala-iyak. i love dairy queen better.

Me Ann said...

hahahaha!!!!

Me Ann said...

like shopaholics?

Nona Enriquez-Schanowski said...

I agree very much on Nicholas Sparks..though very easy to read..I think I needed him when I thought that life is so..dramatic..after reading about 5 books from him, I felt I had enough..it's too much of over dramas..

I divert from historical fictions to some political writers..I mix Rebecca Gablé, Stieg Larrson ( wonderful), Isabelle Allende,Anna Gavalda and for now I'm on Mario Vargas Llosa..

Meann..I did read once Shopaholics..once in a while ok..but I got to read only one..

I think, in my case, it depends how I feel at the moment..and get overwhelmed when I have read 3 or 4 books from the same author..

Nona Enriquez-Schanowski said...

how sweet your theme..could always be a charming Diva..

maia celeste arbatin said...

But reading for me is like eating, Chichi. I love sweets, want them, crave for them when they are not around. Dessert makes me happy, just like books by Terry Pratchet. But sometimes, I find that there are moments when a hot and spicy tom yum soup - the kind that clears your sinuses, makes your eyes water, and makes you temporarily deaf - is just the thing to make me feel better. I hate Nicholas Sparks too, but The Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Book Thief, heck, even book 6 of Harry Potter (when Dumbledore died), all made me cry my eyes out and leave a few smears of snot on the pages when there was no tissue close by. Sometimes a good cry is just the thing we need to feel better. It doesn't make us cheerful, but one thing's for sure: Just like a hot and spicy tom yum soup (umm, and Laksa too!), it gives you deep...SATISFACTION. Ahhhhh, pathos!

maia celeste arbatin said...

As you may have guessed by now, the above comment is an excerpt from a blog I never got around to posting. Wehehehe.

maia celeste arbatin said...

On another note, it is also worthwhile to read a book, not based on genre, or even the story, but based on the skill of the writer himself. Sometimes, I find myself savoring the words of the author, not unlike the experience of savoring a sinfully delicious cheesecake. You let the words stay in your mind for a while and marvel at the genius of the author - a human being just like yourself - who thought of putting those words together to create, not just a sentence, a means to tell a story, but a work of art. Just as you would let the cheesecake stay in your mouth for a while and marvel at the fact that the chef - a human being like yourself - could conjure up flavors and create, yes, a work of art. Sometimes it doesn't matter if it makes you laugh or cry. Sometimes, it is the telling of the story, and not the story itself, that compells me to read a book. That's why I like to explore as much as I can, as much as I would explore different flavors of cheesecake. (Sorry about the repetitive cheesecake analogy. Have PMS. Must have cheesecake.)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

oh, i definitely agree with you there. i enjoy a well-written piece of literature too, regardless of the story. i savor the words in my mouth and roll them around. some of the writings i've come across are very lyrical and although they have sad or heavy plots, i still enjoy them for the beauty of the writing. i may not finish the story though, if there's too much pathos, but it doesn't mean i didn't appreciate the artistry of the writer. =)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

ah, i still remember calling you long distance when i got to that part! hahahahahaha! remember? =D

Patricia Alix Villa said...

thanks chi! me too, i prefer dairy queen. hahahahaha! =)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

i love steig larrson too! i just finished the girl with the dragon tattoo. it was very gripping! and i also like isabelle allende, and a lot of latin american writers.

Patricia Alix Villa said...

ah, not so much. hehe. i like freya north, jane green, etc. for light reading. and then i intersperse with some dark paranormal stuff or latin american magical realism; and then historical nonfiction from antonia fraser.... hehehe.

Patricia Alix Villa said...

yes, but my point is, i don't need a good cry anymore to make me feel better. =) so i don't actively look for it, if you know what i mean. there are other avenues for pent up emotions (not that i have any of those lately). i much prefer political novels or dark gothic novels for variety, that's all. =) i don't want to read a book that will take me to the depths of misery and despair -- i had a real life taste of that already and i find no point in going there again. =)

Emmanuel Villa said...

i-post mo nalang yan as separate blog mamai...hehehe...

Emmanuel Villa said...

i-post mo nalang yan mamai, para maka comment din kami, hehehe....

camera * said...

oh i love this entry....mind you, i am dubbed drama queen too by my kids.... i cry for the most simplest things - though mostly tears of joy hehehehehe

chelo a said...

love this patricia=) we all have our reasons for crying..(or not crying)..=) whatever makes one tick=)

normita b said...

like this...why dairy queen man?

maia celeste arbatin said...

Hahaha. Too late now, bro. Most of it's here. Maybe another blog. A sad one full of pathos that Chichi will not read. Heeeeee!

maia celeste arbatin said...

Maybe it's the nature of my job, Chichi, where I witness first hand, death and the depths of human pain and suffering on a regular basis. I don't have to watch TV to see the ugliness of this world. It is part of my job. Crying over books is a form of release... For all those times I could not cry in front of a suffering patient, for all those times I could not cry in front of the mother or the child who was left behind.

On a lighter note, I guess, just like food, it all comes down to taste. =)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

of course! in the same vein that i do not criticize those who like nicholas sparks. i'm just saying it's not for me. =)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

true! true!

Patricia Alix Villa said...

oh, i get you tita wi! =) and tears of joy are way better than the other kind, for sure!

Patricia Alix Villa said...

dairy queen because i'm mainly a milk producer than a tear-producer. hahahahah!

Me Ann said...

ako naman, i don't get tired with John Grisham, though not all books are great...some are ho hum...but if i want to speed read and not think, i read those chic lits. i have several books beside my bed with different authors...depends on the mood, really...

Patricia Alix Villa said...

hahahahahahaha!

Me Ann said...

you should have posted that one maia!!

Me Ann said...

i have always wanted to get that girl with the dragon tattoo...but i have too much books i haven't read...hmmm..

Me Ann said...

wow! variety!

Patricia Alix Villa said...

i borrowed it from the library! hehehe. but i had to place a reservation because it was so in demand. i was number 37 on the reservations list, can you imagine!

Me Ann said...

i share this sentiment!

Patricia Alix Villa said...

like you, depends on the mood, diba? =)

Me Ann said...

i remember a cousin who is a cardiologist...you have the same way of releasing all the pent up emotions that you needed to conceal while the patient or the loved ones are around...now, i know where you are coming from....=)

Me Ann said...

oo eh...like my sisters don't like mitch albom...dark daw masyado...heavy...*tuesdays with morrie, 5 people you meet in heaven...

shopaholics, parang may kausap ka lang na mababaw na tao...ganon...

then i read my grisham, and i feel like talking to my brother who is a lawyer...

i'd like to visit konikuya *did i spell that right? if justin will permit me. hehehe! this trip kasi will be for him and all about him...

louella alix said...

You will love Kinokuniya, Meann. I have a feeling Justin might justlike it there too. They have an extensive line for young adults of all persuasion!

maia celeste arbatin said...

Naku, Meann. I've written loads of stuff at night while waiting for Jeff to come home, but me to shy to post them lah!

maia celeste arbatin said...

Kailangan Meann. Or else I'll go crazy. Like Chichi! Hihihihi...

louella alix said...

I can understand Chichi's current state of mind now when it comes to books. With me it's because I am subjected to a lot of real-life stories with so much pain and pathos nowadays. When I try reading The Kite Runner and the Book Thief, I can't go on after a chapter, I wasn't like this a few years ago. Somehow, as I said, I can only ingest escapist literature lately: my English whodunnits, how-to-books on crafts, Roald Dahl ( yes, Mamai, I found this thick "bedtime stories" of Dahl in the used booksstore in Bras Basah!). The titles currently in my bedside :

Consider the Lily - Elizabeth Buchan - another English writer, yet unread

Angel's Game - Carlos Ruiz Zafon, currently read

A Natural History of the Senses - Diane Ackerman - this naturalist dissects the senses and writes about everything

The Cloister Walk - Kathleen Norris - haven't opened this yet

The Roald Dahl Omnibus - this is like an unopened gift!

Sticks and Stones - Diane Davidson - a detective story, I abandoned this one after a few chapters

Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert - read a chapter and I can't go on (what's wrong with me? enjoyed the movie though

Romancing the Ordinary - Breathnach - a constant in my bedside

Open Secrets - Alice Munro - love the essays of this writer!

Illuminata - Williamson - another constant with me, it's like a prayerbook for me

The Progress of Love - Alice Munro - there are four more Alice Munro books I'd love to get my hands on

Patricia Alix Villa said...

hahahahahahah! as if you're not! you just have a different strain of insanity, that's all.

Patricia Alix Villa said...

oh, do visit kinokuniya! he can always go wandering around in another shop if he doesn't like any of the books there. =)

Patricia Alix Villa said...

my sentiments exactly! =) and it's fun to laugh at the foibles of younger girls who are still figuring out their way diba? hahahahahhahaah! as if we figured it out already no? =)

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